November 1, 2002

Before we get to this week's questions, let's take a quick look at the comparative records of SEC teams and ACC teams against meaningful out-of-conference opposition. With the season winding down to its last month, SEC teams now have a combined record of 7-8 against meaningful OOC teams. I don't know about you, but to me a less than break-even record kind of sucks - especially when SEC fans keep braying that their teams play the best football of any conference in the whole country. ACC teams are 10-9 against meaningful OOC teams - and that includes a 2-1 record in head-to-head matchups with the SEC. I'll let the numbers speak for themselves.

1. It's the eternal conflict between a fan's loyalties and a fan's attempt to realistically assess the weaknesses and shortcomings of the team for which he (or she) cheers. You love your school, but you still feel compelled to point out the areas that could stand some improvement. I don't think any honest Tech fan would disagree that the games against Clemson, Wake Forest and Maryland highlighted some areas where players and coaches alike fell short of our expectations. I'd be less than truthful if I glossed over those areas of weakness and tried to pretend that everything is just hunky-dory. If that makes me too "negative," then so be it.

   I think the whole conundrum was eloquently summed up by George W. Bush recently in a fundraising appearance in Nashville when he said, "There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee. It says, fool me once . . . shame on . . . shame on . . . you. Fool me . . . can't get fooled again."

   I'm not sure what he was trying to say, but I'm confident that it applies to this situation.

1. I think we all need to recognize that Tech's three-year run of success from 1998 through 2000 was one of those odd flukes that probably won't be repeated for a long time. Part of the problem seems to be continuity in coaching. As many people have pointed out, the constant turnover in coaches since Bobby Dodd retired in 1966 has made it impossible for Tech to establish the kind of continuity and stability that a successful program demands. Just look at the record: in the 36 years since Dodd retired, Tech has employed no less than eight coaches. That's an average of less than five seasons per coach. Here's the rundown:

   Bud Carson - fired after five seasons. And on top of that, married a weather bimbo from one of the local TV stations.

   Bill Fulcher - left after two seasons, and the experience apparently scarred him so badly that he never coached a college team again.

   Pepper Rodgers - fired after six seasons. He left Tech after both his recruiting and his hair suffered a total meltdown.

   Bill Curry - left after seven seasons. Bill was obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer, because he left a situation where he could have coached for the rest of his life to go to a school where rednecks would throw rocks through his window. What's that they say about the value of a Tech education?

   Bill Lewis - do we even have to mention him? Ever again?

   George O'Leary - left after seven seasons. Georgia Tech wasn't good enough for him, so what's he doing now? Making about one-seventh the salary he did here and freezing his butt off in Minnesota. Brilliant, George.

   Chan Gailey - one season so far. But how much longer?

   The good news here is that Georgia has had just as much instability since Vince Dooley removed his lying, ethically-challenged carcass from the head coach's chair back in 1988. Let's look back and remember:

   Ray Goff - seven years. Was encouraged to leave so that he could devote his full time to searching for his stolen tractor.

   Glen Mason - seven days. Was smart enough to actually visit Athens before calling the moving company and canceling the assignment.

   Jim Donnan - five years. Won 40 games and four consecutive bowl games, but also presided over mysterious point swings among the oddsmakers in the hours leading up to the South Carolina and Georgia Tech games.

   Mark Richt - two years. He'll be headed back to Tallahassee as soon as Papa Bowden is pushed out by angry FSU fans. Which should be about three weeks from now.

1. Actually, the benevolent webmaster who started this website has always been very open-minded about letting me express whatever thoughts happened to be on my mind. Well, there was that one time he asked me to edit out all those references to anal sex and the sportswriters at the Journal-Constitution, but other than that he's been very generous in allowing me the use of his bandwidth.

1. Some will find this hard to believe, but there are some high school players who are actually considering Georgia Tech. I would refer everyone with an interest in this to the "Recruiting Database" on the Hive, which is maintained by my good friend Buzzkill, as the best source of information for who these players are. There are a lot of them listed there. I do believe that Tech will sign 15 or 20 of them.

1. . I think it's really a moot point whether that's a rumor or not. Realistically, if you're planning to attend Georgia Tech you'd better have a SAT score in that neighborhood or better, whether it's required or not.

1. . All signs point to Chuck "The Chest" Amato at North Carolina State, who's been much more successful than other FSU assistants like Brad Scott and Tommy Bowden in making the transition from coordinator to head coach. I was amused by a quote attributed to Amato in a recent newspaper profile where he said that he had modeled the N.C. State operations after those at FSU. "We felt like what we were doing there was pretty good," Amato said. I guess that means that N. C. State players are now going to Foot Locker for free shoes, holding up convenience stores, shoplifting Tommy Hilfiger clothing and twisting opposing players' knees in pileups. That's quite a model to emulate.

   I will say this about Amato. With the size of his chest, if he ever decides to get out of college coaching he'll be able to get a job as a waitress at Hooters.

1. In the ACC, I'd say that Tommy Bowden has got to be feeling the heat right now. His team is 4-4 and is staring at the real possibility of finishing with a 6-6 season. This is Tommy's fourth year at Clemmons. That was the same point in time at which Tigger fans ran off Ken Hatfield.

   Tommy's dad Bobby can't be feeling very secure either, now that FSU is headed for a second straight mediocre season. The Semi-holes are 5-3 and I can see them losing at least two of their remaining games.

   Over in the SEC, I don't see any way that Ron Zook can survive if the Gators lose to Georgia this weekend. I think Jeremy Foley better whip out his checkbook and pay whatever it takes to persuade Bob Stoops to move to Gainesville. Tommy Tuberville at Auburn is in his fourth season (same as Tommy Bowden at Clemson) and has already lost three games. If he doesn't beat Georgia and Alabama, he may be putting in a call to his local unemployment office.

   David Cutcliffe has been at Ole Miss for four seasons now and still can't recruit anyone capable of playing defense. Say buh-bye to David. As for Jackie Sherrill at Mississippi State - sorry, Jackie, but it's going to be you and not the bull who's castrated this time.

1. I'm one of those old farts who's been posting on the Hive since its earliest days, which was back around the end of the Korean War. Interestingly enough, the Hive originally started out as a message exchange on the East Stands men's room walls at Bobby Dodd Stadium. Unfortunately, we were always fighting to find space for our postings among all those messages left by husky young men inviting readers to "lick my balls." Fortunately, Al Gore (with a big assist from our benevolent webmaster) soon invented the internet, which meant we were able to start posting our messages online. Of course, information technology was a lot more primitive in those days. Computers were still gasoline-powered, and you had to change your spark plug every week or so if you didn't want it to misfire and destroy all your data. Those were the good old days!

1. The cluelessness of the mutt fans never ceases to amaze me. Since we obviously have some readers here from "the dark side," let me post this disclaimer for their enlightenment: This isn't a UGA message board. This is an internet service provided by and for Tech fans, so you're not going to find a lot of nice words written about your team. If you're expecting someone to give Mark Richt a blowjob, you need to buy a copy of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and read a Mark Bradley column. Any column will do, since that's all he ever writes about.